My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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