Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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