Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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