I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it because I queefed?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
