The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
