Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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