Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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