My hand turned me down
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
