Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
