i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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