im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it because I queefed?
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You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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