fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
