arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize