I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We are all done wearing pants today
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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