God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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