YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
