It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
