Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
