actually, I'm a sock model
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
