I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
