did you get engaged???
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
