; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
