im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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