Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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