You really coming over, don't trick.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
