Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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