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• (818): View more from California

  he got wood on it!

  (408): View more from California

  i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.

  (818): View more from California

  ...i was talking about hockey

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• (956): View more from Texas

  If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?

  Fav 31 1778 3897

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• (949): View more from California

  dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt

  Fav 42 1154 6886

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in

  Fav 12 860 4697

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Considering how often you blow him,high.

  Fav 4 5372 1732

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

  Fav 4 2270 1089

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...

  Fav 10 1798 1005

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yes and yes

  Fav 5 2397 1036

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

  Fav 7 1093 1490

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF

  Fav 3 1125 739

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.

  Fav 3 807 450

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.

  Fav 2 668 372

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.

  Fav 3 102 253

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  She's not answering my calls

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well it sounds like you really fucked up

  (480): View more from Arizona

  WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES

  Fav 1 69 27

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