If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.