that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media