90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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