Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
