I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
