ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
