oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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