Non-Jews are for practice
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize