Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
