Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
