:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
