I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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