She announced her abortion via fbk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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