i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize