i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
