nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
