her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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