My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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