Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
