So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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