John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
