Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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