Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
