Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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