UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
