How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize