If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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