We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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