This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
