hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
did you just send me my own nude
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i believe in u and ur pee
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize