Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
birth control should be required to get into college
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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