Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
MIDGETS
????
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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