I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i dont even know how to be here
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
