I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
